As the only granddaughter of my maternal grandmother, you’d think that I would have been favoured. For whatever reason I really thought that I should have been the favourite. I was, however, absolutely not the golden child when it came to Bear. My eldest cousin, and possibly more so my brother, held that spot. The rest of us came somewhere after Greg the taxi driver and the various dogs that had graced her life.
When I was younger I would tidy up for Bear on the weekends. I was happy enough to do it, even more so when it became something that I could do for pocket money. Although I would have done it for free, mum encouraged me to take the money so that Bear knew she could continue to ask me to do the chores. I can’t remember how long this went on for but I suppose it ended when Bear moved back to the UK, shortly before I started boarding school. Throughout this time I suppose Bear and I developed a slightly better relationship and I will forever be grateful for the greatest gift I’ve learnt so far. I would say that it was unknowingly given but perhaps not… The “gift” is this: smile through it. Or grin and bear it. Ha, d’you see what I did there.
On a daily basis we are confronted with things that we don’t want to do. Although I would definitely encourage staying in bed and watching Netflix for long periods of time, sometimes the sheets need changing and your back starts to hurt from lying down for so long. Never mind the headache that comes with staring at the screen for so long. At that point it’s not quite as enjoyable as it should be and you just have to get on with things. I have no idea when the eureka moment came about, I think that it more likely developed over time. But every weekend, I would go and tidy up for Bear and inevitably, at some point, I didn’t want to anymore. Through all of this I realised that even though I no longer wanted to be of help, I had made the commitment and couldn’t back out of it. Obviously this is one of the things that we all have to deal with but I really think that whether it was said or not, Bear somehow demonstrated that the better option would at least pretend to be positive and get the job done rather than sulk. I won’t pretend I don’t moan… But it’s served me really well in so many different situations.
I’m going to be back in St. Kitts for the holidays. I have a flight back to the UK in January but I’m fairly certain that I will need to extend it to tie up some business things. The idea of going home and dealing with these things fills me with dread but I know that I can’t actually avoid the problem forever. Mum has already threatened to kill someone, possibly herself, if I don’t come home and sort things out. Main really need de babylon to come look fi me. And once I get it sorted, I’ll actually be more free to buss off for a longer period of time and dis is ah good ting. So thanks to my granny, and a reality check, I’m going to get on with things, hopefully with a smile, and try to be a grown up. For a bit anyway.