It’s been a while…

A few people have suggested I restart my blog and because I have found myself with quite a lot of time on my hands, ¿porqué no? I don’t think my brain has turned to complete mush yet so let’s see if I can still string a few words together.

Three weeks ago I was happily enjoying Granada, going to school everyday and preparing for an exam in April. I was still 100 percent questioning what I’m doing with my life but slowly finding little clues here and there. How quickly all that can change. Two weeks today the Spanish government enforced the nationwide lockdown. Two weeks ago yesterday they declared the state of emergency and sixteen days ago I was having dinner with my classmates from my language school discussing whether they thought the school would close on Monday (at that point the Andalusian government had decided to close all schools, universities etc with immediate effect). When we went into school on Friday 13th (a sign if there ever was one, no?) they said that because they were registered as a foundation and not a school, we would probably be seeing one another on Monday so at the end of the day we all went off feeling uncertain but thinking we would see one another again in person. That all changed very rapidly over the weekend and on the 14th I timidly stepped out to go and buy some last minute supplies (having done so the day before and even a month before when mum had said to me “I don’t want to sound alarmist, but just in case this gets out of hand perhaps you should get a few long life things.” The mood in the city, or where I live at least, was still relatively jovial with tourists wandering along Paseo de los Tristes without much care. I personally felt extremely wary and uncertain and wondered why people were not yet taking it seriously but with the sun shining down and the birds tweeting in the glorious spring weather, it was hard to believe that there were problems in the world. 

Fast forward to today and I have been outside twice. The first time was exactly a week after the state of emergency was declared and I was nervous but excited to go outside. The excitement quickly dried up and was replaced by nervousness and sadness. The whole thing was a bit of a disaster in terms of keeping distance but my second outing was much more successful (although my shoulders still hurt two days later from the weight of the things I was carrying). I did have to stop myself from welling up though at seeing the quietness of the streets with the army patrolling. It’s otherworldly. 

People keep asking me if I’m lonely which is very sweet of them but the truth is that were I living with someone other that my mum, or perhaps my brother, the grumpiness would have come out rather quickly and I would have possibly lost that friendship when this is all over. I’m lucky in that I generally really enjoy my own company and I’m also inherently lazy so watching Netflix and reading is sort of my idea of heaven. The second week has definitely seen less of an interest in the apartment friendly workouts and perhaps the resurgence of this blog is a way to delay today’s workout but I’m sort of determined to continue in some form, particularly as I made a cake yesterday and it seems that my lack of appetite from the first week may have disappeared to be replaced by the desire to bake things. Butter is very comforting. My toaster oven is not quite up to scratch so I may well be eating slightly more toasted things but the internet and Instagram keep showing me things that I fancy making and I can deal with a little burnt top. I’m between scones or prune brownies but as I don’t have the all of the ingredients for either thing they will both have to wait until my next outing. At which point I’ll have added to my list of desired bakes… In reviewing my Spanish notes (putting off exercise) this morning I was reminded of the phrase estar como una foca which means to be like a seal or, very fat, which is what we will all be in a few months time.  Luckily I have now made friends with my neighbour and last night, after applauding the medical workers at 8pm, stretching ourselves across our balconies (on the top floor) we exchanged lemon cake for tortilla and so if I can offload my things onto her then perhaps it won’t be so bad. If she gives me things in return it doesn’t quite work but the tortilla was delicious. 

I might just stare at the tree for a little while before I do my workout..